One million billionth of a millisecond on a Sunday morning.

Singlehood is aplomb... although sometimes it would make you feel like throwing things or shoot somebody with guns when those terrible sentiments of dying alone along with the sight of crinkles, fumble hands, possible Alzheimer's and the inability to kiss and shag sink in. I am just kidding. No, I am NOT... okay maybe a teeny, tiny bit of humour doesn't kill the fact that we are all scare of growing old and be alone.

For some, love is merely a four letter word; for others, it might be a paragraph of internal monologue waiting to break free.

We are the cursed of the loved ones.

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. - ('Iris' The Holiday, 2006)

Does that sound familiar to you? Of course it does! We, rather 1,0285,849,1 lovely creatures and human beings are experience it most of the time (But count me out brethren and sisthren, I am still a virgin on love matter). Heart pounding, throat thickening, sweat sprouting everywhere and all the usual symptoms under the influence of Cupid's arrow when ones seek their potential soulmates. Or at least that's what they think. And so after months of seeing your Prince Charming/McDreamy/McSteamy/Princess/Babe/Honey/Whatever, you guys are engaged and married at Christmas under a snowy morning, in a church... with a bunch of hungry, drunk and guilty man in dresses and saying 'I Do' as the melodious music of Pachelbel Canon in D plays suits the ceremony perfectly. At last, the Prince Charming will bring his loved one back to the castle and they will live happily ever after. The end.

Unfortunately, reality is always harsher than it seems.

Many tend to rush in love and wanting to commit themselves when they are not even at the ready stage. Young parents are the current trend in the societies especially in Western countries and sadly, it has permeated into Malaysia (though not too evident yet). According to Cupid, it could be reasoned into three factors:

a. men (boys) are horny.
b. women (girls) are horny.
c. both are incompetent in sexuality knowledge.
d. both are really horny.

C'mon people, love isn't about sex! I mean to some degree but it doesn't wholly based on how well you do in bed. Love consists of chemistry; of making you feel like you are on Cloud Nine; of having butterflies in your stomach when you are with your loved one; of making each other's head swim with seasons; of giving affection without thinking of receiving any rewards. Love isn't an equation. You can't measured it because it is not just about you. It involves two sides. Remember, love can be twisted like venom seeping away your hope; it can also be as beautiful as sunset in October. It is all depends on a magical word: trust. When you have trust, you would find that everything is a smooth sailing for you. Have some faith in a relationship and you would be blessed. Besides, try to have some boundaries between yourself and your partner when it comes to intimacy. You got to know what are the DO's and DON'T's when you are caressing the body that is not yours. Gentle reminder: Please do not race into the three letter words after one date with each other. That's just the lusty you who want to play with the fire. You should slap yourself when you come across the awful thought.

Now, what happened if you found that your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating or some other reasons to dump you? There are a few steps you can do:

a. Breathe in Prada and breathe out Gucci. You must clear your mind and not breakdown like a wretched man/woman before you prepare your final showdown to your other half.

b. The solution. Do you forgive someone easily? Do you willing to accept him/her back into your life after the cheating/otherreasonstodumpyou? This has to done in a short period of time as the longer you drag, the worse the situation will become. So pick a solution. Choose wisely. Choose smartly.

c. Move on. The hardest part. Some would long for the yesteryear and not willing to let go. Word of caution, it would turn to poisonous if you don't look past it. Seriously. You don't want to be ended up in a big white room, mummifies by a big white dress and live with others psychotic mummies. Take a deep breathe and tell yourself to start over. Get healthy. Go for gym. Do yoga. Detox yourself. Read more. Gear up yourself to meet the next potential guy/girl. I believe there are many eligible bachelor/bachelorette hiding under the radar in the city. Don't give up hope.. even if it look dismal.

Love is a gift, a miracle and a blessing for eternity. So start spreading the love around. You don't have to be in a relationship to love somebody. Hugs your friends, pats your cat, cares for your friends and love yourself is a form of benediction already. ;)

The sweet mysteries of life.

Hey blog buddies, how have you been? I know all.. Most of you are missing me. You might wondering what I have done during all these so-called therapeutic holiday. So I am going to list them down: a) eating, b) sleeping, c) growing fat at home, d) MORE EATING. Oh God, can you see how pathetic I am!?

Anyway, you guys have to take this test. The result seemed amazingly true! (At least for me)

-

(Below are my result, raaaawr)

Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak. They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need. Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. They are the most sociable of all personality types. Social contacts are very important to them.

Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends. In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time.

Social Realists are more conservative types. They have a set system of values and rules which is orientated to the prevailing traditions. They prefer clear, structured surroundings and work processes; they find too much change und unrest unpleasant. Their strong points are carefulness and reliability and not so much flexibility and spontaneity. Social Realists are open-minded towards anything new only to a limited extent. But, should one be looking for someone to fulfil a task reliably and exactly, they are the right persons.

The Social Realist at work
The Social Realist is the most social among all personality types. For you, it is essential to choose a profession where you can deal with as many people as possible. You recharge your batteries with the help of people contact and the personal exchanges needed for your very special talents to unfold. You are the prototype of the caring person in the positive sense, because you love to act on behalf of others and care for them. If you have the impression that there is a way to contribute by improving the quality of their life, it satisfies you more than anything.

For your type, the feeling to be needed, loved, and appreciated is more than vitally necessary. Therefore, working in seclusion is not for you. It is just too much counter to your extroverted nature, and your need for interpersonal interaction.You have the best ideas during dialogues with others, as they stimulate your creativity. Instead of developing abstract aid projects with the help of a drawing board, you prefer to engage yourself on the frontlines with person to person contact. For you, it is important to see the results of your work so you can go home feeling that you (again) made the world a better place - at least a bit.

You are a born team player. You are open and communicative, easily integrating yourself into group hierarchies. For your personality type, harmony is the keyword in your personal, as well as in your professional life. Since conflicts and power struggles seriously stress you making it difficult for you to attend to your tasks, you should put your emphasis on working in a stress free, respectful, and affectionate environment. Working environments continuously affected by tough infighting, and where competitive conflicts are intense represent too great a strain.

The Social Realist in love
No other type is as loving, attentive, and committed a partner as you. Many authors describe your type as the most personable and endearing of all: caring, sensitive, and always making sure that others are comfortable in your presence. For you, investing a lot in your relationship, and totally committing yourself to another person goes without saying. You enjoy assuming responsibilities, and that applies to your partnership, as well. When you encounter hic-ups in your relationship, the first things you look for are ways to change yourself.

You were born with the need to take care of the person you love most - to the best of your ability - and to do everything to make him/her comfortable. You create a comfortable home with the feeling of security and intimacy for both of you. To please and surprise your partner, you have an astounding sense for sharing small and frequent signs of your love. Your antenna for his/her needs is almost eerie, and sometimes you almost trip over yourself with eagerness when it is important to you to meet his/her needs. In the long run, your own needs are frequently neglected when you have a partner who prefers taking over, or who does not care for you as sensitively as you care for him/her.

Any partner is going to be overwhelmed by your sensitive and exuberant nature. Because you often like to talk about things close to your heart you are not stingy with compliments and assurances of your love. You are the most emotional and passionate of the Realists. The power of your feelings often carries you away. With you, this is not just lip service because you also prove your love with deeds. Whoever is with you can always rely on you. Your fidelity and loyalty toward your partner are extraordinary and unshakeable. Comparative studies have often indicated that Social Realists lead the list of the sixteen types in the durations of their marriages. For you, a relationship represents a life-long obligation; you don’t enter into it lightly and expect stability and reliability from your partner, as well. If you are disappointed, it hurts you even more than any other of the personality types.

Adjectives which describe your type: extroverted, practical, sentimental, planning, emotional, temperamental, energetic, tradition-conscious, loyal, helpful, devoted, reliable, caring, objective, thorough, organised, warm-hearted, open, friendly, sociable, chummy, obliging, self-sacrificing, public-spirited, sensitive, kind, demanding.

You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus,
Mark Twain

With tired arms, tired mind, we slept.

7.15 a.m,
a perfect morning to start anew.
Walked to the bathroom, she had her teeth brushed
and rose red ribbon tied on her ponytail.
Donned in her favourite tee,
she headed down for breakfast.

She arrived at school by 8,
putting her hefty books in the locker
before going to the cafeteria.

She sat on the corner table beside Josh -
her best friend, her soul mate, her Prince Charming.
He was reading to her when she was
sipping the hot, steaming cappuccino.

His voice made her
grow soft, heart melt, and time stop.
She had fallen into the land of her dreams,
where happily ever after is the norm.

Nineteen minutes after,
a gunshot was heard.

She screamed, she ran, she jumped.
Throngs of people were rushing for exits.
Shrouded by blurred vision,
she felt light-headed.

More shots were fired
aimlessly.

She suddenly saw Amanda -
the girl she loathed
for making fun of her during First Grade,
lying on the floor
with arms outstretched. Blood covered her face.

She stared helplessly
as the massacre continued.
Tears rolled down her delicate cheek
and she blinked.

Looking down at herself,
a flower was blossoming on her chest,
feeling the chills and the excruciating pain
that seeped into her spine,
she froze.

Sprawled,
crimson blood flowed down her icy cold body,
she blinked.

She caught glimpses of fleeting images
that involved Josh.
The first kiss they shared,
The romantic date at the posh Italian restaurant,
The promise ring he slipped onto her finger.

Blood curled around her like snakes,
she blinked.

The old, rustic clock struck nine,
loud chime was produced.
Thrice.

Grasping for the last breath,
She blinked.

And she was gone.